you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
