took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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