Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
