Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
