Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
