He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
