So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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