Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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