So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize