I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
