I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
