The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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