We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
