dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
