My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
