I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
