she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
ttyl tear gas
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sorry my hands just texted you
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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