Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
