cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize