i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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