Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
