you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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