You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
