absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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