butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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