suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
