are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
