Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
