All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
