i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Duck Duck Cougar?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
