he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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