I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
