capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
