32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So squirting runs in the family.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
