just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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