i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
