Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
