I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Randomize
