I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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