**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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