I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
