Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I could fuck to npr.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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