I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
