Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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