can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
