she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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