We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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