ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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