wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
