Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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