Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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