Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
