Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
