She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize