It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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