Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
