Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
