ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
