Apparently you make a good broom.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
