3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
