he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
