is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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